Chapter 52: HUGE NEWS!!!!

Well, I know it's been FOREVER since I've blogged on here and I've probably lost most of my readers lol, but I have big news and I wanted to update everyone.

Sadly, I realized that I couldn't lose a substantial amount of weight on my own so I turned to alternative methods....crack. Ha, just kiddin! On November 1st around 7am, I went into Baptist Hospital in Nashville TN and had the Gastric Lapband put on my stomach. For those of you that aren't familiar with this procedure it is a very non-invasive weight-loss surgery. My mother, uncle, and two coworkers have had the Gastric Bypass done, and my dad and sister had the Lapband put on about a year ago. I decided that this needed to be done for my health. It was getting out of control. My acid reflux had gotten terrible, my knees/back/ankles were killing me, and I was beginning to get sugar and blood pressure problems. It took a lot of thought and prayer, but I finally decided in March of this past year to begin the process.

I know I have said before that I didn't want to resort to weight-loss surgery because I feel like it's cheating, and I wanted to feel accomplished when I lost the weight on my own, but I feel like I had tried every other option that I could possibly do. Come on, I even auditioned for The Biggest Loser for crying out loud lol. So needless-to-say I will begin to lose weight and by this time next year I should be about 130lbs lighter :)

The surgery went well, as is my recovery, but I'm still very sore and in a small amount of pain (compared to the pain I WAS in). I'm healing up quickly and I'm already eating solid foods. My food intake is very restricted, but that's the main purpose of the band. It creates an hour-glass effect on your stomach so that food "trickles" down much slower than normally making you feel full faster and for longer periods of time.

For those of you that are reading this I thank you. I would like to keep you updated so please check out my other blog, and if I remember this blog, I will try to post here from time to time. Thanks for all your support along this journey and I look forward to sharing my new life with you all. God bless!

-Chase

Chapter 51: My New Blog (I'm still using this one though)

Just wanted to let you know that I've got a new blog, although I will still use this.

The new one is my personal blog...it's for random stuff from my everyday life that doesn't really fit on this blog.

Like I said, I will continue to post on this blog as things change. As for now, not much has. I've been super busy with finals and papers so I haven't been to the gym in a while but I'm still maintaining the weight-loss from before. I will eventually pick it back up and continue on my journey.

The new blog will be focused on music, videos, and random stuff...so feel free to check it out for a more personal look into my life :)

"My Life And How I See It"

Chapter 50: TBL Update & Surgery

Ok, so my audition video is coming along...somewhat slowly, but it's still going :) I've decided to do a music video parody for the first three minutes and I've already gotten the song recorded and now I'm ready to start filming the actual song.

I've got a bunch of random footage that I'll use for the rest of the video, but for now I'm mainly working on the audition video. I'm really excited.

I also decided that, if I don't get accepted on the show, I'm going to look into the lap-band weight loss surgery. I know I said that I didn't want to do it, and that I wanted to do it the old-fashioned way but my health is getting worse and I just can't keep going like this. It's gotten to the point that I can't sleep well because of the sleep apnea and acid reflux. It's terrible. It's not set in stone yet on whether or not I will have the surgery, but I am definitely considering it.

So that's just a quick update! I'll write another post soon! :)

Chapter 49: The Biggest Loser

BIG NEWS: I've decided to audition for The Biggest Loser on NBC!!!!!!!!!!

I'm currently in the process of filming my audition tape and I've also filled out my application. The next step is submitting both and going to the Open Casting Call, which will probably be at the end of the month.

As of now it is NOT set in stone, and I haven't been selected, but I really hope that I do. So please keep in your prayers that God will have His way with me.

I will upload the audition video on YouTube so that I can show everyone. I'll be doing several different things on the tape...I'm recording/filming a parody music video of Keri Hilson's "Knock You Down", and I've also got some footage of me in the gym, at a restaurant, singing in Opera, singing in choir, going to McDonalds, and then some raw footage of me just talking to the camera about why I should be picked.

I'll update you guys more on the status of things once I finish my video and application and get it sent off! :) Thanks!!

Chapter 48: Ghost Of Chase Past Has Returned (and another 5K)

Well, sadly, I have to report that I have stopped P90X, although I am desperately searching for the motivation to start it again...I just haven't found it yet. It started when I went home for Fall Break. I was working again so when I got in it was late and I was really tired so I took some sleeping pills and went to bed. So I had skipped my first day. Well one thing led to another, and now I haven't done it in a week :( I feel terrible.

Something else that really worries me, and it worries me so much that I almost wasn't going to mention it in this post is that I think I've relapsed. If you don't know what I'm talking about then skip down to Chapter 30 and it will update you.

I've really been struggling with it for about two weeks now. I've been doing pretty good about fighting it off, but now the compulsive binging has started. Although the purging hasn't began yet, and the starving hasn't happened, the binging has and that's just as bad. The other night I have 2 Double Cheeseburgers, a large fry, and a large sweet tea from McDonalds. I ate it about 30 minutes before I went to bed. It's terrible, and I feel disgusted. All my life, someone else has always been in control for me, but I finally found that I can now control what I eat and how I eat it. So I tend to punish myself with food, but then I also turn around and reward myself with it. Tonight, I went to dinner with some friends and I had a burger and fries from a restaurant then we went to Ben & Jerry's afterwards and I got a Brownie Sundae with Cookies and Creme Ice-Cream, knowing good and freakin' well that I DIDN'T need it. I went to the bathroom afterwards and had to fight the urge to purge. It was a very difficult battle but I won. I left the little shop feeling bloated and as huge as a damn elephant. I was very disappointed in myself. Plus I've also logged back onto an old website I used to go to everyday. It's a "Thinspiration" website for guys with Eating Disorders. It's a very unhealthy website because it basicly teaches you how to become a better Anorexic/Bulimic/Compulsive Over Eater/Etc. and then they are constantly bombarding you with pictures of thin guys and motivation to get thin. Things like "Snack on celery and water all day instead of eating" and "If you feel the urge to vomit, drink a glass of water then purge. The water will fill up your stomach then bring up whatever else is down there." People that have never experienced an Eating Disorder will never understand what it's like. It's a drug to me. I need my drug.

One of my best friends has been with me through this and she has been supporting me and trying to help me. She's experienced all this herself so she's trying to keep me away from a terrible relapse. I love her to death, but I don't think I have the strength to hold out.

Plus, I'm finally dealing with the death of one of my best friends so I haven't been getting much sleep (because I dream about him all the time, hence the sleeping pills) and I struggle to eat and when I do, I over-do it. I'm also scared of the gym because I developed compulsive workouts before so I don't want that that start up either. So yeah, that's an update. I've got to get back in the gym because I'm slipping into old ways. Please keep me in your prayers guys! I love the support and I love you guys!!! :)

Oh, and by the way, I signed up a week ago to run in the "Race for a Cure" for Breast Cancer. It's October 31 at 8am...so that should be interesting :( I get a shirt and everything and I've decided to run for my grandmother, who is a Breast Cancer survivor! :) I'm really excited about the 5K but we'll see how it's counteracts with my ED... :(

Chapter 47: I'm...Going...To...Die...

It's official, I'm gonna die...

One of my friends suggested a workout program so I took his advice and started on Monday....What workout program you ask?....*drumroll* P90X! If you haven't heard of it, google that junk! It's intense. I just found out today that the X is for Extreme lol...and let me tell ya, it is!

In short, it's a 90 Day very intense workout routine. Everyday from Day 1 to Day 90 you use the 12 DVDs that you are provided with to lose weight, burn fat and build muscle. I'm on Day 3 and I'm already sore lol. Monday night was all about the chest and back, so it was alot of pullups and pushups. Well, being big I can't really do them that well, but I was able to do assisted pullups using a chair and one leg, and I did as many pushups as I could. I barely got through the warmup and then the real thing started. I could feel the burn even as we warmed up. But I knew the results would be worth it. I was thinking, "This is it...this is the day I kill over here in my room and die. Nobody will find me for a week and I'll just be lying here, dead...from this damn workout!" lol. No, there's no magic pill that comes with the program, it's just a workout ROUTINE, which means I'm still working out. And the cool thing is that I can no longer use the excuse, "I don't have time to go to the gym", because this is done in the safety and privacy of my own room lol. No excuses! :)

So from here on out P90X will be going hand in hand with my regular gym visits and healthy eating. Hey, it's still working out! lol. I was getting bored of the same thing over and over so this is a good change for me. I think this is what I needed. As to Chapter 46, I've still got alot of stuff going on and I'm still very, very stressed but there's just something about working out that makes one feel great. Last night was Plyometrics, which is basically a lot of jumping exercise as well as tons of squats and lunges. The workout only lasts for an hour, but that hour is more intense than most workouts I've ever done lol. I guess you could compare P90X to some of The Biggest Loser workouts on the show. It's freakin' hardcore! I'm also taking One-A-Day vitamins as well as B-12 and I'm drinking The Biggest Loser All Natural Whey Protein Mix. You wouldn't believe how much water I've been drinking since I started this lol, well over my required amount per day I'm sure haha.

I woke up this morning and couldn't even sit up, I had to literally roll over and out of bed haha. But at the same time I had a huge smile on my face (through the gritting of teeth) because I knew I had found something that is working. "Pain is temporary; Pride lasts forever."

I was talking to some of my friends today before class and I told them I could barely walk because my thighs hurt so bad lol. But the way I see it, if I wasn't sore after doing such an intense workout then something must be wrong. So the fact that I'm sore means I'm doing it right lol. Being sore means getting results. Everyone I've talked to has told me to just get past week one and stick with it. "Week 1 is the hardest. Keep going through Week 2 and 3 and you'll be fine. Don't let Week 1 get ya!", was some very good advice a P90X graduate gave me the other day. So I'm determined to do this. My 90 days will be over on January 10...so we'll see how it goes lol. I'll keep ya posted! :)

Chapter 46: Ugh...

This past week has been sooooo busy for me that I haven't been to the gym at all :( I feel terrible, both physically and mentally. I just wanna crawl under a rock somewhere and hide. I'm also a little homesick. I'm having trouble in my classes (failing one and completely lost in the other). My job is stressing me out hardcore, I'm having financial problems ($300 overdrawn and $5 in my pocket), I don't have the strength/energy to even go to the gym when I do have time, and I'm just exhausted. I can't keep food down, and I've lost my appetite. I'm having trouble sleeping also so I'm averaging about 3-4 hours of sleep a night. I keep dreaming about one of my best friends that passed away Dec. 7, 2006 so it's just really hard for me to sleep. I've resorted to sleeping pills and I know they're not good for you. I'm literally pushing myself at this point with all that I have left because Fall Break is next Friday so I keep telling myself if I can just make it through the rest of this week and next week, I'll be fine. I just need a break.

I was in Algebra today and had to get up and leave. She was working on the overhead and I started having trouble breathing, my chest was hurting, and I started sweating. My stomach was turning like crazy and my hands started shaking. I got a really bad headache and everything she wrote on the board seemed to be spinning. I was overwhelmed. I literally grabbed my stuff and ran out of the room. I'm sure the professor and other students were wondering what in the world was going on, but I didn't care. I've been wearing sunglasses all day b/c my eyes are dark and droopy. I feel like I'm on the verge of an emotional/mental/physical breakdown. I'm having constant family issues and other problems that I can't talk about to anyone, so that sucks.

I'm not writing this blog so that you'll feel sorry for me or anything, I just want to ask for your prayers and I also needed to vent to someone. I feel like everything keeps boiling up. I was on the verge of tears all day today but I suck it up and go on. I keep telling myself that there are other people worse off than me so I need to just make myself get up and go. And as for now, that's exactly what I'm doing. So yeah, that's an update for this week....

Chapter 45: ALISON SWEENEY COMMENTS!!

If you didn't read Chapter 44 then here's a quick update: I was/am being featured on a website called Whrrl for "photo stories". I uploaded pics for my weight loss journey thus far and they decided to feature me! It's so exciting!

So far I've had over 5,000 views on my story, and here's the awesome part!!!

*Drum roll*

Alison Sweeney (from Days of Our Lives, and Biggest Loser host) commented on some of my pics!!!
One of her comments said: Congrats Chase. you're doing amazing.
And the other said: check you out!!! AWESOME!!!

I almost fainted when I read them! I'm a huge Ali fan! The few times I've seen Days of Our Lives was because she's awesome, and that's the only reason I ever watched haha. She's a great host on the Biggest Loser too, so to have her comment on my pics just made my day! :) I just wanted to let you guys know...oh, by the way, I tried a new fruit smoothie today from this little place on campus. It's a Strawberry smoothie for 89 calories...it's real fruit and it's AWESOME! :) I'm drinking it now lol.

Chapter 44: Featured on Whrrl!!!

For those of you that don't know, Whrrl is a website in which you can tell "stories" through pictures. So basically it's an online album but for the purpose of telling others something.

I posted an album last night for my weight-loss. I put my before pics, my summer pics and my first 5K pics (well some of them lol). Well to my surprise, today I realized my picture was on the front page of the website, under the "Featured Stories" section! It was awesome! I realized that I had been chosen, along with like ten other stories to be featured on the website! When I checked earlier I had over 3400 views on my story! I was super excited!!!

I've posted the link below so you can see my scary before pics at Christmas 2008, and then my summer pics of where I am now. I'm still working out so I hope to post some more Christmas pics from 2009 so you can see where I was exactly one year ago to the day! :)

"My Weight-Loss Journey Thus Far" On Whrrl

Chapter 43: Vegetables Taste Like Dirt...haha.

Ok so I have no clue what to talk about, but I just wanted to post a quick blog to update you and to ask you to let others know about my blog!

I realized yesterday I'm slowly starting to lose my motivation and I'm already looking at March (my goal date) and thinking, "Man, I'm gonna be so embarrassed when March rolls around because I'm still gonna be a fat cow!"...in a way, I've already began to except the failure in my mind. But I can't! I can't let it get to me!

I'm working so much now that it's so hard for me to find time for the gym. Last semester I was going about six times a week and now that's cut down to about four...so it's really bothering me. I'm eating really healthy though, so I'm trying to make up for the loss of exercise in my diet.

I found a blog a few days ago (more like a week or two ago I think lol) that has really inspired me. I want you to check it out. The woman's name is Pamela and she has lot a great amount of weight! Her story is inspirational, and it has definitely given me the kick in the butt that I needed. It has sparked my motivation, but I'm still struggling with keeping it. I just get so tired. I've posted her blog link below so please, please, please check it out and subscribe to her! :)

http://vegetablestastelikedirt.blogspot.com/

Chapter 42: BACK IN THE GAME!!

Well I'm soooo excited because TBL premiere was....AWESOME!!!

It was so great and I'm really excited about this season! Even my Opera Director at school watches it so we end up talking about TBL more than we end up talking about Opera haha, but I love it! I'm also sorry that I haven't updated as frequently as I used to, but school is kicking my butt!

I also wanted to let you know that I'm officially back on the wagon...for a while now I've just been following the wagon from where I fell off earlier, but I finally gained up the strength to jump back on. Watching TBL really did it for me! I was so inspired!!!! I also went to Kroger tonight (around 1-am to be exact lol) and spent $99.37 on all sorts of yummy, healthy food! I got whole wheat bread, lean turkey breast, lean chicken break, lean ham, mustard (0 calories, just so you know lol), cereal to kick start my metabolism in the morning, TBL Whey Protein Mix, grapes, apples, bananas, and some other goodies! I was so excited!

Well it is now 3:25am and I have yet to go to bed, so I should probably do that! I'll give you a more detailed blog entry about TBL Premiere more in depth later on, because right now my bed is calling my name.....listen......"Chase....Chase"...see, I told you! Good night! :)

**And for those of you that are celebrity junkies like me, I have a new blog! http://www.chaseferrell.wordpress.com It's all about celebrity news and a little bit of gossip, but not much lol. Please check it out and spread the word to others! I just started it Monday and I've had almost 800 hits so far! I'm really excited about it and I hope people will actually read my articles! Btw, you better watch the Emmy Awards this Sunday, 8/7c on CBS!! :) Love you guys!

Everything Celeb by Chase Ferrell

Chapter 41: A Lifestyle (TBL PREMIERE!!!)

I realized today that being healthy and working out isn't all about working out everyday, 24/7 and eating all diet foods, but it's more about being healthy and enjoying life. I realized I was focusing too much on what I couldn't do, instead of what I could do. I admit, I've been extremely busy and haven't been to the gym near as much as I would like, but that hasn't changed my eating habits and my desire to be healthy. I'm still that healthy person, I just don't get to go to the gym as much. It reminds me of the Biggest Loser. The contestants are so obsessed with working out and eating properly while they are at the ranch, but then as soon as they leave they become scared and confused as how to combine their new life with the old one. It's a scary combination, but it's one that has to be made. Also....THE BIGGEST LOSER SEASON 8 PREMIERE IS THIS TUESDAY!!! I'm so freakin' excited! I can't wait to see the new contestants and I'm so happy to see that Daniel is coming back! :) Well I guess that's about it...this is more of a serious blog today, but it was just something I needed to say... :) Love you guys!

Chapter 40: New Semester

Wow, well as some of you may or may not know I'm working as a Resident Adviser this year for the university. This basically means I babysit the residents on my floor and make sure they don't get into any trouble and that they follow the rules. This also requires us to come to school about three weeks early to train. It's been crazy...we've been in meetings EVERY DAY from about 8am to about 8pm then after that we've been planning and working on decorations for our floors. Therefore, I apologize for not writing recently, but I'm still here, and yes I am still on my diet. Although it slips every once in a while, we all fail at times. We just have to get back up and keep going. I'm really excited once the school year starts because then I'll have time to go to the gym...I'm pumped! :) So yeah, not really much to report, just wanted to update you and let you know that I am still here :) Love you guys!!!

Chapter 39: 8K (Nope), Birthday Bash, Back On The Wagon

Well I decided not to run the 8K. The marathon is tonight and I realized I hadn't been training like I should have so I decided not to run it. I have not been doing like I should lately. I feel really guilty and I feel like I'm letting all my readers down, but I'm still going. I leave for school on Wednesday and I couldn't be more excited! I'll be back with my gym, my food, my Whole Foods Market, and everything else that feels like home. I just can't wait to be back! I said the first day I'm back I'm going to the gym!

I just got back from a birthday party for my 30-year-old cousin and I had a very good discussion with some people about my weight-loss and stuff. It made me realize I really need to get back on the wagon, and fast! I only have about six months to lose the rest of my weight...70lbs...but I think I can do it! Oh and by the way, I didn't have any ice-cream at the party! They had all kinds of stuff for sundaes so I picked through and ate a banana, strawberries, a few cherries and had some crushed nuts on top. It filled me up and it was actually a lot better than a huge bowl of ice-cream.

When I get back to campus I'll be hitting the gym everyday for several hours. I really have to get back to my routine! I've slumped alot this summer, but I can't let it get me down. I have to keep going.

I was thinking the other day about something one of my friends told me...she said, "If you lose all this weight you need to go around as a motivational speaker and talk to people about weight-loss." The more i thought about it the more I realized, I would absolutely love to do this! I am now a Dietetics Major and once I lose my weight I would love to help others. This is why I have decided that with my new major I would love to eventually work in an Obesity Clinic. For those of you that follow the Health Channel some I'm sure you've heard of Brookhaven Obesity Clinic. It is for people that are Super Morbidly Obese and I would love the opportunity to help people like that. When you get to the point that you're 900+ lbs there's not really much you can do other than diet. If that doesn't work out, I would also like to work in Fitness Centers as a Motivational Nutritionist. I also realized inorder for me to stay on track I need to keep my blog updated. I haven't updated since July 26, and I'm sorry for that, but I'm still here. Most weight-loss bloggers blog for a few months then they just vanish. It's like their fat has consumed them and is holding them hostage. But I can assure you, that won't be me.

I promise, right now...I vow that I will not stop blogging until I reach my goal...whether it be March 20 or whether it be July 20 of next year...the date for me is not the biggest part, but losing weight and being healthy is a huge priority for me right now. As a matter of fact, I'm gonna get off here. I'm going to go run about 4 miles, then come back and swim for about three hours...that should be a good workout for today :)

Chapter 38: 8K, Half Marathon...I've Lost My Mind!

Well I know it's been a while since I last posted and I apologize for that, I've just been really super busy with work and what not.

Ok so here's for a quick update.

There is an 8K in August that I'm considering running...I'm super nervous and don't know if I will. But here's my situation...there is also a Half Marathon in Memphis on December 5th for St. Jude that I really, really want to run; however, I've told myself that if I simply don't run this 8K then I can't run the Half...but I really, really want to...or atleast attempt it lol. So basically it's like if you tell your kid they won't get any ice cream until they eat their green beans, well yeah, that's what I'm doing to myself lol. But I also told myself that if I do run the 8K and I die or almost die then I've decided it'll probably scare me out of running the Half Marathon. I mean, I know there is no possible way I'll be able to run the entire thing, but I definitely want to try. The 5K that I ran on July 4th felt like it was gonna kill me, so I don't know why I'm thinking I can attempt a Half Marathon...I think I've officially lost it lol. So yeah.

I haven't been running as much lately because of work and stuff so I've been working during the night and sleeping during the day...I've been super tired all the time. But I also haven't gained anything this summer so I'm hoping that I can at least keep from gaining anything then beat my butt at the gym when I get back to Memphis, which will just be in a few weeks :)

Ok so that's a quick update...I promise I'll post something worth reading later on in the week! :) Thanks!

Chapter 37: The Night Shift

It was a night, just like any other, but there was something slightly different about tonight. The wind was calm, the moon was bright, and the heat was muggy. I pulled up to the building. I turned off my car, grabbed my bag, and slowly climbed out of my car...I was terrified of what might be lurking inside, yet at the same time it excited me. I walked to the front door and knocked. My palms were a little sweaty and my heart beat was fast...the front door opened...it was....it was....my...CO-WORKER!

Yep, that's right...it was work. Tonight/this morning/last night I worked my first night shift as a 911 Operator/Dispatcher. It's almost 5am and it wasn't really that bad *knock on wood*. I'm sitting here now on the "Lounge Computer" taking a short break to update you guys...and in the next second I could be running back to my desk (yes, literally running...) to answer a 911 call. Which could range from "My dog won't come out from under the bed" to "My husband just stabbed me in the chest and took my kids!" You just never know. So yeah, I'm trying to find the strength to stay awake lol.

The worst thing about all-nighters/night shift is that I tend to eat...a lot! I eat more at night and when I'm staying up all night than I eat all day. I munch a lot especially when I'm trying to stay awake. I hate it though because then I go straight home after this and I'll sleep until about 4pm. Then I'll take some sleeping pills and go back to sleep around 10pm (that way my sleeping schedule doesn't get screwed up too bad lol). So yeah, no time for exercise...or atleast it's really hard to FIND time for exercise lol. Well I guess my break time is up...I need to get back to my desk...this is Operator 812 with DeKalb County 911 signing off! :)

Chapter 36: Half Marathon Plan & A Quick Shoutout! :)

Well I decided after running the 5K last week that I really wanna up my game and run a half marathon. It's a big goal...who am I kiddin, it's a HUGE goal, but I'm willing to train and do it. There is a half marathon in Memphis around December 5 for St. Jude and with St. Jude being so close to my heart I thought, why better to run than to benefit something wonderful like St. Jude. I think I've even got a few friends from here at home that may make the trip to come join me :)

So the other day I drove around my house and our part of the town (which is mostly country side and back roads) and I mapped out a half marathon and a full marathon...yes, a full marathon! Although I will probably never do it haha. I did map it out for training purposes. I'm gonna start running a lot more than I have been and hopefully by the time December rolls around I'll be able to successfully run a half-marathon, without dieing haha.

So for my quick shoutout: Mzzlily! You've been an awesome blog reader! I'm so glad you're reading my blog because you really inspire me and motivate me. I was actually getting lunch today and I was really craving a cheeseburger, then I thought, "No, because sooner or later I'll post a blog about my update and Lily won't be too happy if I ate a cheeseburger!" haha. You're always so uplifting and I really enjoy reading your comments. You have commented on almost every single one of my posts and it really brightens my day when I get an encouraging post from you! I know we've never met, but I feel like you're such an awesome friend! Thanks! :)

I know there are others that post and comment on my blog, but Mzzlily just posts all the time...she really goes out of her way to make sure she encourages me and it really helps. Doing a weight-loss journey like this really makes you feel alone at times, but it's good to know that I have someone to motivate me :) Well that's a quick update for now! :)

Chapter 35: My First 5K Marathon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I DID IT!!! And I didn't die lol!

Well it took me 46 minutes but I race my first ever 5K Marathon yesterday!!! I was so excited...well except for getting up at 6am lol. The race started at 7 and I finished right around 8:45! I was in pain and today my legs are killin' me, but I felt great! The endorphin rush was awesome! I walked a small bit just because my legs started to cramp, but I pretty much ran/jogged the entire thing! I was sooooo happy! When I finished I couldn't have been more proud! I was so happy I honestly could've cried lol. I actually did it, I ran a Marathon...it was a small Marathon, but I gotta start somewhere! lol.

While I was running I kept reminding myself that I am changing my life. I am getting healthy. I am doing this for me. Nobody else, but me. It was awesome! I took some pics before and after and a little bit during, so I've posted them below for ya!! :)



Everyone at the starting line! Me with my Nutritionist friend! :)



Me after the race...I was sore lol. Me with my mom!



Me crossing the finish line!!! :) Almost to the finish line....almost!





"Run Forrest, run!" lol.. I can see the finish line, just a little more!





At the start of the race.... The sign I had on my back during the race!

Chapter 34: I'm Back! (5K, Here I Come!)

Well my motivation has finally kicked back in! And it has had a lot of great changes these past few weeks! I've decided for sure to change my major to Dietetics, now the only thing is that I'm just really trying to keep my voice scholarship...so I'm trying to work that out.

BIG, BIG NEWS!!!!!! *Drum Roll>>>>>>>>>*

I ran my first ever full 5k (even though it wasn't an actual competition, I still ran it for practice). I've walked plenty of practice 5K's, but this was different. I started out and I told myself, "I will run this entire thing...no walking!" Well I started running and I felt great. It wasn't until I got to a hill on my road that my legs started to hurt. I pushed through it then once i got to the top I stopped for about 30 seconds, stretched then started up again. I repeated this process two more times out of the entire thing. My ending time was 47 minutes! I was so proud! Now for the really big news...............

Tomorrow is my first REAL 5K!!! It's the Fiddler 5K (it's a festival in my hometown that hosts a marathon)...I wasn't gonna do it but I talked to a friend of mine today and she really encouraged me to run it! So I'm going to. I won't finish first, but I really want to do it! I just hope I finish under and hour and without dieing haha! Well wish me luck! I'm hitting the sack so that I'll be ready...6am will come pretty early! :)

Chapter 33: Am I Really Gonna Change My Major?

Well I've given it a lot of thought, and I think I'm going to change my major at school.

It's not that I don't enjoy my current major (Vocal Music Performance) but it's just that I never wanted singing to be a "chore". I don't enjoy singing like I did, and I often find myself dreading going to choir or anything like that. It's difficult to keep going when the one thing that you've done since you were two is the one thing that's turning against you.

I've been doing a lot of research and really thinking about this. I decided that I have two to three options if I do decide to change my major:

1. African American Studies

2. Spanish

3. Dietetics

Those are my top three choices right now. All three of them would be something I would love doing and I could get great jobs in all three fields. They are, however, in no particular order. The one I am leaning towards the most as of now would be option number three. Dietetics is basically diets, nutrition, fitness, etc. etc. I could get a job working as a Dietitian in hospitals, gyms, or even school systems. I could also work with overweight people and help them to lose weight. I also thought that doing this might be the great motivation I need to really kick start my weightloss back into gear and just shed the rest of these lbs off like butter! I mean who's gonna listen to a fat nutritionist?! lol...so I have to lose weight if I'm going to do this. And think about this, when I do lose the weight if I have a degree as a Dietetics Person Thingy then I can tell others about my story and maybe help someone who is in my shoes. I mean, I am in no way skinny, but I hope to change that within the next 9 months.

Well, let me know what you think. I would love your advice! :)