Chapter 29: Extremely Overwhelmed

Well as you know, if you are a regular reader of my blogs, I have a new job working as a 911 Dispatcher in my county. Well today I finally cracked. I knew the job would be stressful but I didn't think it would be this bad. I had my trainer, a supervisor and my boss all in the room while I was trying to take calls and dispatch on the radio. They were letting me do it all by myself. Well for those of you that never listen to a police scanner, it's sometimes very difficult to understand them, therefore sometimes I couldn't tell who was calling in and what they were reporting. I started to get a little frustrated then the people around me just made it worse. They started quizzing me saying "Where are your officers?!...Make sure you know where they are!...Where is officer 404?!...Is 512 still on duty?...Where is he?...Ya gotta know this stuff...you gotta remember it!"

So I do what I always do when I'm under stress and pissed off...I got really quiet and all my answers were short and sweet. I didn't try to act like I maybe knew where the officer was I just blankly told them I didn't know. And keep in mind, this was about 30 minutes before my shift ended. As this was going on they were saying, "Aww, poor thing, he's so lost." and "Help him Janice, he don't know what he's doing...poor lil thang." This didn't make the situation better. I also have three computers that I have to keep track of and know what's going on with each one. I realized that if I make a mistake in telling an officer where to go, someone might die. Peoples' lives are in my hands when they call. They expect me to help them, and do it quickly. I can't do that.

I have no clue about some of the stuff that goes on and I feel so lost. I honestly felt like I was drowning today and they were all just standing around laughing at me as I splashed and gasped for breath. And today wasn't even that bad. I didn't take any emergency calls, but it was still alot going on at once. You have to be able to listen to the radio, to the phone, read the computer, and listen to the other dispatchers to know what's going on around you. I only have two ears and one brain. How can I listen to so many things at once and be able to actually comprehend each thing?

As I was leaving my boss said (while he laughed and patted me on the back), "Go home, get ya some whiskey, smoke a cigarette and relax. It ain't that bad." I just walked to the clock, clocked out, turned around and walked out the door without saying a word to anyone. Then my trainer followed me out as she was leaving too and she said, "Well honey I'll see ya Friday." So I turn around, somewhat joking yet serious at the same time, and said, "Maybe. Don't take it personal if i don't show up." Then of course she came over and played the mother figure saying all that, "Well it's hard and stressful, but it comes with time and experience. For a trainee you're doing a good job." Well that's just it, I don't have time nor experience, and you don't have time to spare when you're dealing with peoples' lives. I just nodded and got in my car.

Literally, as I was pulling out of my parking spot I could feel it...it was the dreaded "Stress Cry". Tears welled up and I made sure I was out of sight of the building and I let it roll. I cried for about a ten minute cry all the way home. I know that may sound sissy, but ya just gotta let it out sometimes and this was definately one of those times. I even had the lip quiver going haha.

So yeah, I'm sitting here typing this with a bottle of Tylenol PM and I'm gonna pop about three and go to bed. So my question to you: Do you think I'm wrong for being upset/stressed? If you were in my situation what would you do? I know, when I look on it a few months down the road it won't seem that terrible, but for the time being it's pretty bad. So let me know what you think. Thanks!

Chapter 28: 911, Migraine, & a Wedding

It's official, I've started taking calls at the 911 office, although as of now they are non-emergency, but I'm still taking calls, so I'm pretty excited :)

I haven't been running in a few days because I've been pretty sick. I had to shoot a wedding on Saturday then I stayed the night with my sister. For those of you that aren't aware, I worked for a professional photography studio for about three years then I started my own business. You should check out my website. I'll provide the link below.

So yeah I woke up Thursday morning with a terrible Migraine! I made it to work, and since I just sit there all day it works pretty good for me. I was so sick. Well I took my meds and the Migraine didn't seem to ease up any so I just figured it was too far along and that I just had to let it run it's course. Well it's now Monday and I STILL have it! It's not near as bad, but it's still there. I haven't been able to eat alot because of the nausea, so I'm worried about my poor metabolism lol. Anywho, I'm getting ready for work, and I'm gonna go to the park tonight and walk with my best friend so I'm hoping once this dang Migraine is gone, I can really jump back into running again. I miss it lol.

Well I'll see ya after work :)

My Photography Website

Chapter 27: Finally Home (Update)

Ok first off, I want to say thanks to everyone for the prayers and what not for my back...I feel much better. I think it was just a very badly pulled muscle, but I feel better now. MzzLily left a comment on my post but I accidently hit the reject button instead of accept :( So if you're reading this, I did get your comment and I appreciate it. I tried to go back and undo it, but once it happened I couldn't do anything :(

My back is doing better, so I'm back to running again. I'm home now for the summer and in a way I'm really excited and really scared all at the same time. I mean, this is the place that I got fat pretty much. It was the food here, and the lack of exercise that made me this way and now I'm back here. I'm hoping with my job this summer I'll stay busy and away from my house that way i'm not tempted to eat everything I see lol.

I just bought some Workout Mix CD's...I'm hoping they help. They seem really cool so I'm hoping I can listen to them while I run and it'll help inspire me haha.

I thought I should give you an update on the 5K this summer...as far as I know I am planning on doing it. It might possibly kill me and kick my butt in the process, but I really want to do it and once I start it, I WILL finish it. Whether I have to run or walk, I will finish. It's a 5K which is about 3.2 miles, so for me to run the entire thing would be a big accomplishment. I'm gonna start running more at the farm here versus on the treadmill that way I get used to hills and what not. The treadmill is flat and so it's fairly easy to run, but once you start running uphill it gets a little more difficult lol. But yeah, I'm pretty sure the marathon is the 4th of July at like 9am or something like that. I'll keep ya updated as it gets closer.

As all of you know I absolutely HATE weighing so I try not to do it very often lol; however, I came in last night from Memphis and after I put my stuff down and changed I stepped on the scale. I've lost around 40lbs of fat and I've gained about 6lbs of muscle since I've been lifting weights. I'm really excited because my clothes are starting to officially get big on me :) It's awesome lol!

Well I'll keep you guys posted with everything, but as for now I've got my tennis shoes on and my ipod in my pocket so I'm off to run. See ya! :)

Chapter 26: No Internet, Pulled Muscle...Oh What A Great Week! :(

Ok guys, so this past Friday I had to move out of the dorms; however, the church I go to here in Memphis needed me to stay around for a week for some performances that we have. So I've been staying with this lady that sings in the choir with me and she only has one computer, and it's in her bedroom. Therefore I only get to use it when I ask her, or when she's not at home. That's why I haven't written a new blog recently. I really hope you guys are still reading. I'll keep updating it once I'm at home (which will be Sunday night). I've already got a few blogs typed on my laptop and all I have to do is transfer them over when I get home.

News: My dad got me a job this summer working as a 911 Dispatcher. I'm pretty excited! I'll be taking 911 calls and basically doing the whole "911, what is your emergency?...Ma'am, please calm down and tell me your address..." thing Etc. etc. I hope it goes over well. It's really good money though :) It's like 10 bucks an hour and I'm working part-time anywhere between 24 and 32 hours per week. So, yeah I'm pretty pumped! :)

Also, I went to the gym yesterday and ran...alot! I ended up running 1.5 miles in less than 35 minutes, running..not walking! It was great. However, once I got home and I was in the shower I noticed my right arm/shoulder/shoulder blade/back on the right side is KILLING ME! It hurts so bad so I think I must've pulled something. I really hope this doesn't affect my workout routine, but please keep me in your prayers that this will heal quickly. I can barely lift my arm so it has to be the muscle. Well thanks for everything guys! And like I said, I'll keep posting over the summer! :) Thanks!

*I promise once I get home I'll give ya some really good blogs to read. Just give me some time to get settled in next week and get my head screwed back on and you'll have your old blogs back lol. :)

Chapter 25: Your Opinion?

Ok so I've realized that my workout routine is getting pretty competitive...running on the treadmill, riding the bike, and a little bit of weight training and that's it. So I wanted to ask you guys...what is your favorite exercise? It's getting very close to summer which means I'll be at home, which also means I won't necessarily have the gym everyday so I'm gonna start working out outside more. Anybody got any good pointers for some good outdoor workouts? Maybe your favorite workout? What about your favorite music to listen to while you workout? What's something that really pumps you up...? Leave me some comments and let me know :) Thanks!