This past week has been sooooo busy for me that I haven't been to the gym at all :( I feel terrible, both physically and mentally. I just wanna crawl under a rock somewhere and hide. I'm also a little homesick. I'm having trouble in my classes (failing one and completely lost in the other). My job is stressing me out hardcore, I'm having financial problems ($300 overdrawn and $5 in my pocket), I don't have the strength/energy to even go to the gym when I do have time, and I'm just exhausted. I can't keep food down, and I've lost my appetite. I'm having trouble sleeping also so I'm averaging about 3-4 hours of sleep a night. I keep dreaming about one of my best friends that passed away Dec. 7, 2006 so it's just really hard for me to sleep. I've resorted to sleeping pills and I know they're not good for you. I'm literally pushing myself at this point with all that I have left because Fall Break is next Friday so I keep telling myself if I can just make it through the rest of this week and next week, I'll be fine. I just need a break.
I was in Algebra today and had to get up and leave. She was working on the overhead and I started having trouble breathing, my chest was hurting, and I started sweating. My stomach was turning like crazy and my hands started shaking. I got a really bad headache and everything she wrote on the board seemed to be spinning. I was overwhelmed. I literally grabbed my stuff and ran out of the room. I'm sure the professor and other students were wondering what in the world was going on, but I didn't care. I've been wearing sunglasses all day b/c my eyes are dark and droopy. I feel like I'm on the verge of an emotional/mental/physical breakdown. I'm having constant family issues and other problems that I can't talk about to anyone, so that sucks.
I'm not writing this blog so that you'll feel sorry for me or anything, I just want to ask for your prayers and I also needed to vent to someone. I feel like everything keeps boiling up. I was on the verge of tears all day today but I suck it up and go on. I keep telling myself that there are other people worse off than me so I need to just make myself get up and go. And as for now, that's exactly what I'm doing. So yeah, that's an update for this week....
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My home internet is down. I had to come to the library to catch up. Glad I did!
ReplyDeleteYou MUST talk to someone. If you like, e-mail me. Better is to seek Christian guidance. Find a pastor that you can talk to. Find ANYONE!
Everything you wrote about is a symptom. It can be fixed. Don't let it go on. It is affecting your sleep, your classes, your mood, your health, maybe even your finances.
You need to get things off your chest and get your worries back in perspective.
I'll be praying hard for you, Chase.