I'm tired.
I'm tired of being fat. I'm tired of being unhealthy. I'm tired of working out. I'm tired of dieting. I'm just tired.
I look at myself in the mirror and I can't tell I've lost any weight. I look at myself and I want to be skinny. I want to healthy, but it seems the one thing I want the most is the one thing that is the farthest away. I am determined and motivated to be thin, but it's taking alot longer and alot more work than I had anticipated. Sure I didn't get fat overnight and I won't get fit overnight either, but I'm just discouraged seeing as how it's so draining.
I was talking to one of my really good friends tonight and I was just down because I'm lacking motivation. And she said something to me that literally made my cry, but it inspired me. She said:
"Everyone struggles with body image and it's hard to get motivated and actually act on your desires of looking a certain way, but it's a battle worth fighting for and in the end, it's worth every broken sweat, every fast food meal skipped, every fruit eaten, all of that! It's all so worth it in the end! You will get through this! I SOO believe in you! And I WILL NOT let you fall! I promise! I've got you."
-Kimmy
As we were talking I said I'm just so tired of being the outcast. Overweight people are treated like we don't belong. We're in a world that wasn't made for us. The seats in the theatre are too small, the airplane seatbelts don't fit, the school desks aren't big enough, the roller coaster bars won't come down over our stomachs...we are just to big for everything. I was talking to a friend the other night and I told her that fat people are treated like we're disabled. People think we're incapable of doing things just because we're fat. I'm just tired of not fitting in. I'm tired of meeting new people and you can see in their face that the first thing they think of you is, "Wow...he's really fat." It's hard knowing that people automatically judge you before they even get to know you. It's just difficult living in a world where you feel like you don't belong.
I'm ready to change.
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First of all.. YOU ARE CRAZY!!!..lol
ReplyDeleteYou've come so far, and done so much. Sure, you're having a bad day, and there are more to come be sure of that. But be proud of yourself. I don't even know you and I am. Don't give up!
xo
Chase, maybe you can't see a difference (I bet deep down you really do) but I CAN see a difference in the pictures you've posted. And like I said before, I'm so proud of you! Just think how far you've come. If you hadn't tried so hard and stuck with it this far, you would not be 40+ pounds lighter than you were 4 months ago. If you give up now(and I KNOW you are NOT going to do that!) somewhere down the road you would kick yourself a thousand times for not sticking with it. You want this badly...I can read it every word you write, and you're going to keep it up because you know it's the right thing for you and your health. And even though it's tiring and it's a slow process, you know that you are stronger now than you were just a few months ago. I admire you for your willpower and determination. Hey, just want you to know that you've motivated me to start walking every day again! It's something that I know I need to do, but lacked the motivation to stick with it, so THANK YOU! Hang in there, and keep posting. I'm loving reading about your progress. I'm still praying for you!
ReplyDeleteLove you, friend!
Sandra Akers
Sandra,
ReplyDeleteWow, thanks so much for your encouraging words. It really helps, when I'm feeling down, to come to my blog and read my comments. I'm so glad I could be your motivation to start walking...that makes it worth every sweat, every ounce of pain I go through, and every mile I walk. Congrats and keep going with it! I expect an update soon :)